morning

i started today with a forty-five minute drive from montgomery to auburn at 5 a.m. to be honest it was one of the best mornings i have had in a long time. God gave me a beautiful sunrise and i started the day worshiping. how can you not when the sun is a giant hot pink ball easing over the trees i realized when i was in uganda that starting everyday with God makes the day seem more real, more focused. i hoped this day would be that. a productive God focused day. but i really have been sitting around. i want to try and blame it on waiting for this call, but it really is just because i lack anything to do right now. my purpose for the summer hasn't really seemed evident to me yet.

i went to uganda right at the beginning of the summer for three weeks. and it was life changing. my experience at bethany taught me more than anything else what the body of Christ looks like. i not only found the image in the hearts and actions of our team, but in the hearts and actions of every person at bethany village. we thought we were going to go and share with the children why God is so amazing, and they were the one that taught us. they showed us what it looks like to worship and really work for the Lord. i find it hard to be motivated to go to school sometimes, but in bethany i saw responsibility and determination from a child no older than 8. i got to see the meaning of resilience and faith shine from the eyes of children as they told me their heartbreaking stories, all of them ending in hope. my favorite experiences in bethany were marked by these lessons. they are the quiet moments that i shared with individual kids just sitting and holding their hands. the simple fact that a group of american adults could learn how to live by watching a village of african children shows me that the Lord is working and alive, that there are many many different parts to His body, and that there is so much more to learn about our God through the lives of those who are different from us. He is a huge God, so massive, and i saw His face everyday at bethany. i want to go back, right now.

the team i went with... well, there are few words to express the love i have for them. they are my new best friends and i feel a connection to them that i don't see wearing off until the love and the heart for what happened on that trip does. God perfectly ordained that group of people to be on the trip, for us to meet, and for us to share three weeks of bonding, love, worship, tears, frustrations, restlessness, exhaustion, learning, exploring, pain, sickness, laughter, dancing (oh the dancing!), music, food, food, food, and awe-inspiring acts from Him.

i gotta get back there again.

but now i am in auburn and the purpose here doesn't seem to pressing. as we speak, i am waiting for a phone call from invisible children telling whether or not i got the internship, better known as roadie. this decides i guess what the rest of the summer is aimed for, and how God will be preparing my heart. i pray that my heart will be steady and patient, especially in these next few hours.

i start class next week along with a pretty regular work schedule. so at least i will feel some accomplishment.