every day my heart is wrecked here. i can't believe how much it hurts just being at work.

but i'll get back to that.

sunday we went on our retreat and it really wasn't a retreat in the sense that you would thing. we basically just changed locations, and did the same about of work, same hours if not more. but it was so nice to be in the mountains and around trees. it was like being in alabama. : ) missing it a lot. i miss the trees and the fact that its southern. i miss chic-fil-a (there is a rumor of one is point loma, and i am totally going there this weekend, even if i have to walk!) and football excitement.


what was i saying? oh yeah retreat. it was kinda hard being there because everything was super focused on the roadies, and nothing really was said about the interns. in fact nothing has been said about them at all. not one word. we just kind of are here, and we ask for things to do and they give them to us. its so hard. its like we don't really belong.

but enough whining. ha. i am so thrilled to be in the office, and i don't think i would change it if i could.

tuesday night i went out with lauren, matt, and nelly. we went to this coffee cigar shop, and smoked hookah and it was really fun. i surprisingly liked it a lot. great conversation, good company, and well just an overall chill night.

wednesday night, i went to will boyd's community meeting with some roadies, and it was amazing. i got to listen to people talk about all their projects and all the organizations they are starting, as well as meet a pastor of a church, that seems to be really awesome, who is from montgomery and his wife went to auburn! he invited me to come to church and when football season starts go over to their house for games!!! then later that night we went to a bonfire on mission beach. so great. the water, at night, is so beautiful. love it.

tonight bobby bailey came and talked to us about his stuff that he's doing and once again my heart was wrecked by his video about congo. there is just so much pain in this world and i am being exposed to it every single day.

its hard because i just want to leave and go. but i am resisting change for some reason. its what i came for, but some how i am putting it off.

i can feel God tugging at me. i can feel Him working on my heart. it is so wonderful and horrible at the same time.

pray for me, that the breaking be drastic and intense, that my life is changed in MASSIVE MASSIVE ways. i want to be unafraid. i want to be reckless in His name.

delay of connections.

i never have time. i feel awful about it but really i don't know what to do. when i finally get a minute to be alone its 1030 here, 1230 where you are. i wanna call, i wanna catch up but it just never happens. for that i am deeply sorry.

life here is strange. its filled with emotion, drama, boredom, frozen yogurt, the beach, stress, inspiration every hour. i don't know what the day will look like when i wake up, which is scary. its wonderful, but hard.

i miss home. i miss familar. everyday though is different. i think it was wednesday, i called my mother crying. i never do that. she is my best friend, but i haven't ever called someone just to have someone listen to me cry. but then thursday was a great day.

tiring. very tiring.

go see the movie "american teen" WONDERFUL.

i'm making some amazing friends. its really good.

tomorrow we are going on a retreat. i am so excited to be around a lot trees and not need a ride to places.

the madness

its been about 5 days, but it feelS like a life time. its becoming really strange to think about home and see myself there. i know that sounds slightly dramatic. but seriously, its hard to believe i was in alabama less than a week ago and that i haven't been doing this and being here for the past year.

but in other updates!! i love this place. i haven't even put my first week behind me yet and i have already experienced some amazing things.

thursday night: i walked around downtown san diego with a group. loved it and hated it. its a very touristy place in some spots and then in others its very trendy. there are a ton of restaurants and they are pretty pricey. but there is a great view of the bay from the top of the community center.

we have to take a trolley everywhere, which is kinda lame. it costs a little money, but if you feel like you need to go somewhere all the time, it costs you a lot.

friday: the best day ever. i'm gonna say that a lot cause i feel like my days are gonna get better and better. but seriously awesome day. we started off at work with a session with jason russell (founder and filmmaker, all around AMAZING guy). he basically shared his story, his love for the Lord and explained why he felt this organization was here because of Him. along with my kix and blueberries, it was perfect start to a day. i cried pretty much the whole time. so good.

then we had lunch break did some computer system work, and then it was back in the conference room for some tour training. after that jason came back in and showed us the new ACDC podcast that links jon chu (director of step up 2) to invisible children and jason. look for it on youtube. well then, he went ahead and introduced chu and chris, one of the dancers from the movie. if you've seen it, hes the tap dancer. so so so cool. jon talked for a while and then we had a danced battle between some of the roadies and jon, jason, and chris. sooooo funny. i think there will be videos soon.

we ate dinner at the office and then all went to the opening of jason's new musical, its called "alice." look up the trailor. it was awesome. it was a mixture of high school musical (the good parts) and alice in wonderland.

saturday: i got up had an awesome breakfast, then headed off to the beach. a group of girls and i went to find a coffee shop before hand cause our internet has been down at the house. then we met up with the rest of the group, laid out on the beach and swam a little. it was really fun. i got a little sun burned, but nothing too bad. i went and got ice cream with claire and her friends from school that drove down. it was really good to sit and talk without a huge group around. later on i played some truth or dare jenga and watch dumb and dumber with the house.


soooooo thats whats been going on. its really awesome. i expect it will only get better. i plan on making some calls today so hopefully ill talk to some of you.

hanging out with will tonight and going to church! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

so i'm here!! and well, i'm busy. its been a huge whirlwind since two mondays ago.

two mondays ago, i started the process of moving out of my apartment. it was long and very tiring. by friday when i finished cleaning i had lost like 20 pounds in sweat and plenty of hours of sleep. i turned in my key, went to classes, then headed to bham for my last weekend in town.

the weekend was really great. got to see and hang out with lovely people that i am missing already. after the weekend, i went back to auburn and took my exams.

monday night was really great. i had a little get together at toomers with friends from auburn and said goodbye. ginna and i went back to birmingham monday night around 10.

tuesday (last day in the dirty south) i had breakfast with my grandmother and sister. soooo good to see them before i left. lunch time had some awesome friends over to say bye and general freak out with. i just couldn't believe i was leaving.

around 4 went to the airport, cried a little with my mom, a lot with out. 545 hopped on a plane and headed out. there was a hurricane in houston, where my connecting flight was, so i saw some killer cloud forms and generally amazing things my beautiful Lord created. i got on another plane headed for san diego with a stop in phoenix. problem: here. phoenix was having some gnarley weather and we had to bypass it to go to tuscan and get gas. we went back to phoenix, saw some killer lightning storms, dropped people off, then finally headed to san diego. around about a 3 hour delay.

so getting into san diego at 1045 turning into 1. LAME!!

i got about 4 hours of sleep and then headed into a 9 hour day at work, in which i didn't know what i was doing. i've been catching up the whole two days. cool thing though: i went to lunch with jared white and adam finck. they are the mission coordinator and mission director for IC. awesome awesome guys. it was a group of four of us. totally personal and really fun.

last night i went to target and panera with a group of girls and it was soooo good. i really love all the interns, and there are some really great people here. last night i just settled, studied some material with the group, had a surprise visit from an old roadie, and hung out.

the house is HUGE and super crazy. i live in the loft. its an upstairs room for girls and its kinda open to the rest of the house. cool and really lame cause you can hear everything going on in the house. and its really hot. im working on getting a fan in there.

today was really good. i got to sit in on our first meeting with the IC staff- no roadies. it was really cool to see how it all goes down, and get to put in some thoughts. felt really awesome to work so closely with the beginning of great ideas.

then i started my job!! the actually thing that i, as an intern, get to do. and my regional manager said i was doing better than all the other interns!!

i am feeling really really good.

so just a fair warning so no ones feelings get hurt. I HAVE NO TIME!! when i get back to the house at 6ish, it is crazy until about 9 and by then its 11 there. so catching up and all will have to take place on the weekends.

i really just want to be here ya know? i don't want to take time away from this team to talk on the phone. my main focus is soaking all of this up.
nothing nothing nothing personal. i love all of you. know that.

gosh, can you believe it?!!?