life flows from God

every day my heart is wrecked here. i can't believe how much it hurts just being at work.

but i'll get back to that.

sunday we went on our retreat and it really wasn't a retreat in the sense that you would thing. we basically just changed locations, and did the same about of work, same hours if not more. but it was so nice to be in the mountains and around trees. it was like being in alabama. : ) missing it a lot. i miss the trees and the fact that its southern. i miss chic-fil-a (there is a rumor of one is point loma, and i am totally going there this weekend, even if i have to walk!) and football excitement.


what was i saying? oh yeah retreat. it was kinda hard being there because everything was super focused on the roadies, and nothing really was said about the interns. in fact nothing has been said about them at all. not one word. we just kind of are here, and we ask for things to do and they give them to us. its so hard. its like we don't really belong.

but enough whining. ha. i am so thrilled to be in the office, and i don't think i would change it if i could.

tuesday night i went out with lauren, matt, and nelly. we went to this coffee cigar shop, and smoked hookah and it was really fun. i surprisingly liked it a lot. great conversation, good company, and well just an overall chill night.

wednesday night, i went to will boyd's community meeting with some roadies, and it was amazing. i got to listen to people talk about all their projects and all the organizations they are starting, as well as meet a pastor of a church, that seems to be really awesome, who is from montgomery and his wife went to auburn! he invited me to come to church and when football season starts go over to their house for games!!! then later that night we went to a bonfire on mission beach. so great. the water, at night, is so beautiful. love it.

tonight bobby bailey came and talked to us about his stuff that he's doing and once again my heart was wrecked by his video about congo. there is just so much pain in this world and i am being exposed to it every single day.

its hard because i just want to leave and go. but i am resisting change for some reason. its what i came for, but some how i am putting it off.

i can feel God tugging at me. i can feel Him working on my heart. it is so wonderful and horrible at the same time.

pray for me, that the breaking be drastic and intense, that my life is changed in MASSIVE MASSIVE ways. i want to be unafraid. i want to be reckless in His name.