terrified.

so its been hitting me a little at a time. i am moving across the country in three weeks. and i have no clue what to expect. i get really excited, then i get the shivers, then i laugh, then i shiver again. how scary is that?!

i talked to megan o'neal (to me, mo) last night for a good while. if you don't know her, she was a pre-architecture student here at auburn for a year and a half, but took a semester off to work at a resort in mammoth, california last spring. the girl is amazing. and the whole time before she left, she would call me up and we would sit and talk about how scared she was about leaving. i of course took on the role of soother, and couldn't really understand why she was so scared. i mean this was an amazing adventure that she was about to go on to a completely different place, but fun and incredible experiences were guaranteed. what's so scary about it?!

thinking about this i have to smile a bit. no a lot. now i get it. and sweet mo got to reverse the roles a bit. its great how similar our situations are. i love her a lot.

yesterday at church, the message was about prayer. spoke directly to me. i am not a very good pray-er. i've always felt slightly stupid for praying because its not like God doesn't know these things already. and i do understand the idea and reality that this is about a relationship, it just makes me feel like i am being fake. even when i am alone. its something i need to get over before i move. the only thing that i can be sure of in san diego is Him. if i can't talk to Him, then i am gonna be headed for some really rough times.


in other thoughts, lately i have been really lonely. auburn has a good number of wonderful people in it right now, but i am just not feeling very with it. its almost like my confidence is getting really low and that in turn makes me feel like i am bothering people. i hate bothering people.